Letting Go of Judgment – Embracing Curiosity
Letting Go of Judgement & Embracing Curiosity
by Beverly Thomassian
As healthcare professionals, I believe we can let go of the assumptions and judgments that so often cloud our perception of the very person we are trying to care for and lean into curiosity.
Feelings of judgment are more commonplace than you may think – almost like an unconscious thought pattern. These feelings can block the creation of a meaningful connection and leave the healthcare professional and the person in our care feeling …disconnected, misunderstood, or unseen. When judgment takes the lead, it builds a quiet wall that can prevent trust from forming and healing from taking root.
But when we become aware of these unconscious patterns and intentionally set them aside, we create space for empathy, curiosity, and genuine connection. It’s in that space that the healthcare professional and the person in our care can feel respected, valued, and heard.
You can become more aware of feelings of judgment and notice what they are saying to you. This awareness is the first step to showing up for the people in our care with deeper authenticity and compassion.
When you meet with people, this is what feelings of judgement sound like.
- “They still aren’t taking their medications every day”
- “I can’t believe they keep gaining weight”
- “How come they can’t exercise at least once a week”
- “Why are they still eating tortillas with each meal”
- “Can’t they check their blood glucose more often”
- “Don’t they understand they are going to get complications if they don’t lower their blood glucose”
If you hear yourself thinking these thoughts or something similar, at first, simply commit to noticing it. Don’t beat yourself up for having these thoughts and feelings. As healthcare professionals, we have a whole trunk full of biases and lived experiences. It’s okay; we are actively working on releasing the shackles of judgment from ourselves and the people in our care. Now, take a deep breath and see if you can reframe this thought through the lens of curiosity.
By exchanging judgment with curiosity, you actively engage in more mindful practice and start meeting people where they are – with compassion. Curiosity does not judge; it leans in with openness, seeking to understand rather than to label. It invites connection, discovery, and the possibility of seeing things, especially people—in a new and compassionate light.
After all, we all signed up for this profession to make a positive impact in people’s lives. Meeting people with the lens of curiosity brings out the best in us, matching the reason we entered health care in the first place – to help with healing.
The goal is give yourself permission to set those feelings of judgment aside so you can show up as your best self and make the difference you want.
This approach has numerous benefits for the caregiver and the person receiving care.
When you provide nonjudgmental care infused with curiosity and compassion, you honor the strengths of the people you’re serving. You’re also infusing your consciousness with kindness in place of judgment. This approach, based on curiosity and compassion, leads to more effective care and healing that flows both ways.
Join our Group – Healing Through Connection
We know these unconscious feelings can get in the way, yet no one talks about them. Let’s start an open and honest dialogue about these feelings. The best caregiver in the world experiences moments of judgment that can get in the way of how they show up for people. The solution is to talk about these feelings with colleagues and friends in a safe space.
We’ve developed a community to do just that. It’s a community for healthcare professionals involved in caring for people with chronic diseases. We all want the same things – which is to provide more effective care based on compassion. When you meet other people in this community, you’re going to realize that you’re not alone and that other people experience the same feelings you do. And instead of you dealing with it by yourself, there is going to be an entire community of healthcare professionals supporting each other.
Benefit of this “Healing Through Connection” FaceBook Group
– Professionals can share authentic feelings around caregiving and find connection
– Give permission to these common feelings that you and other people experience
– Know that you’re not alone in this – you don’t need to feel bad or judge yourself
– these are normal human feelings that caregivers have and it’s time that we acknowledge them
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